Tuesday, July 28, 2015

I'm back and i don't give a fuck.

 I been in the feeding people business for a while, from top notch tie wearing blokes to.... babies. The logistics of food, food service, distribution, cooking, serving, and doing the upright wholesome thing is one aspect.....the politics, lies, cheating, stealing, dealing, undermining and fully unwholesome acts that happen to put a nice meal in front of you might make you sick.

I am now interested in another aspect. I just want to eat a decent, healthy meal on a consistent basis that wont cost a fortune.  I don't want to cook 1 pound of beans, cure half an organic hog, or can 30 pounds of tomatoes. I, and like most people I know want to at the very least believe that they are having a quality meal that fits within their financial, timeliness, and culinary taste desires.

The view from the kitchen for now has changed. As I changed cooking/eating from one that i'm enslaved to...what I eat, what serves me best, what is healthy to me, what will not kill me slowly, what will make me better.

Make no mind, if some sick fuck is willing to pay good money (to help me be healthy) I'll feed them what ever it is they want. ak...chix wings.

Don't be discouraged, if a fat slab of Foie Gras was in front of me...i'd eat that shit like the shaggy guy in the bus stop with 12 bags and dirty clothes. But the new me washes it down with a spinach-apple smoothie.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Deviled eggs and a lost word


Deviled eggs are also known as eggs mimosa in Europe.  They originated in ancient Rome and consist of boiled eggs cut in half and filled with the yolk usually mixed with mayonnaise, mustard and pepper.  Russian eggs are the same with the addition of caviar to the yolk mixture.  Deviled eggs are popular during spring holiday in the U.S. and Europe, and during the summer in southern U.S. where they are renamed ‘dressed’ or ‘salad’ eggs in an effort to avoid the use of the word ‘devil’

The term ‘Deviled’ dates back to the 19th century to mean an item that is Piquant.  Piquant or piquance is the sensation associated with the taste that is a reaction of the chemicals piperine and/or capsaicin which cause a burning sensation induced by both a taste sensation as well as one that actually raises the temperature of the tissue in the area of skin that comes in contact with such piperine or capsaicin.  This is believed to be associated thru evolution due to the body’s reaction to similar substances present with microbial pathogens.  That is a side note. 

Piquant is a great word!  A short etymological tour thru French, Spanish, and Portuguese and we result in a word that solely sums up the two words we now use, “spicy hot”.  In the past ‘Hot’ has been used with relation to temperature… as in degrees Fahrenheit.  Also ‘spicy’ has been used to describe something that is spiced…. as in a spiced apple pie.  The word ‘piquant’ is used independent of those to describe the sensation as described in the previous paragraph.

Hot chocolate would be chocolate that is over 100 degrees

Hot spicy chocolate would be chocolate that is over 100 degrees and has cinnamon and nutmeg.

Piquant spicy hot chocolate would be chocolate that over 100 degrees and has cinnamon and nutmeg as well as a chipotle chili.

Why did we stop using that word?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

How about pizza and a beer?


Since 1957 Budweiser has been the world's best selling beer in terms of both units sold and profitability. Kirin Lager from Japan is the second best selling in terms of units sold.  Interestingly, InBev (the conglomerate who owns Anheuser-Busch) has a 50% stake in Kirin brewing.  There's a huge market for Budweiser overseas because it actually does have exceptionally high quality control standards. Can anyone remember the last time they ordered a Budweiser and something was floating in the bottle (yeast or otherwise)? Or the last time you got one that was skunked?....um, no!  wow, it’s true.

Westvleteren 12 by Westvleteren Abdij St. Sixtus (Belgian Quadrupel) is rated best beer in the world by ‘ratebeer’.  Goose Island Rare Bourbon County Stout is the highest rated domestic beer at number 3.  The Westvleteren 12 will cost you $40 for 1/3 of a liter.  The Goose Island only slightly better at $20 per 12 ounce bottle.

According to the French Culinary Institute the most popular pizza topping in the world is pepperoni.  Upon looking at more than one list I find this true with mushrooms being the most popular non-meat item, and an estimated 70% of the worlds mushroom pizza have canned mushrooms on them.

Domino’s has more outlets per capita in Iceland than any other country.  On that note it seems like Dominos, Pizza Hut and Papa John’s rule the international pizza market with stores on every continent (except Antarctica).  In 2009 36 Billion $ worth of pizza was sold in the United States.

Does this mean that thru marketing it is possible to lower consumer expectations of quality simply by consistently providing low quality product?  I think most ppl would agree a canned mushroom and sip of Bud aren’t very high quality products, but they sell at or near the top trumping many other more high quality products?  Food (and drink) for thought.

Number and facts were found on Wikipedia and ratebeer.com.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Recent Happenings


No better way to start your day!  I swear that is for 2 people. 




This project involved sprouting a garlic clove that got away from us and hid on the shelf for too long, and a vinegar infusion with dill and Spicehound pickling spice blend.  Letting is sit for a few months should do the trick.



Before



After!


Death to and old friend.  RIP ol'e mixer.


Empenadas at Barroco Grill are very good.


Churros at Barroco finished of a great meal there.  If you haven't been, you should.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Making the Most of Fennel at Home

 Trimmed fennel, the bulb about the size of a baseball.


I really appreciate fennel.  I have never had it in a form or flavoring that I didn’t fully enjoy.  Unfortunately it is relatively expensive especially if trimmed and prepped in a way I have done in restaurants in the past.  I got one small head of fennel from the West Side Market earlier this week and it cost a solid $3.  I didn’t core it, and used a lot more of the stalk portion than I’ve ever used in the past.  There were no adverse results as I expected there to be some tough or stringy pieces.  This was not even close to one of the larger heads of fennel I’ve seen so this might not be the case for all sizes of fennel.  Also, I was able to successfully stretch out the flavor of the fennel with an equal part of green cabbage cooked in the same way as the fennel.  Lastly I seasoned the whole mess with fennel salt from Spicehound. 

 Caramelized Fennel at Home
One head of fennel
Equal amount green cabbage
One garlic clove per head of fennel
Half one orange per head of fennel
Fennel salt and pepper


I remove the top two inches of the fennel stalks, assuming your whole piece of fennel included bulb and fonds, if not just remove a thin slice.  Chop the stalks into rounds the same thickness that you slice the bulb.  Slice the cabbage to a similar thickness but keep separate.  Rough chop garlic and also hold separate.  Start by deeply caramelizing the fennel on med-high heat in a 50/50 mixture of oil and butter.  After removing the fennel from the pan sear the cabbage on high heat in a similar mixture of fats.  Toss garlic with seared cabbage and cook over reduced heat for one minute then squeeze orange over pan of which the fennel and seasoning have been added.  On low heat cook for another 5 minutes.  Pairs well with sweet potatoes, red meat, or hearty fish.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Not what's there, but what I see


I have come late to the bus as far as the Chowhound chat boards.  I found it quite delightful to find some interesting and beneficial insight opposed to the same 8 people bickering among themselves in the comments of every post like what I found on the Cleveland dot Com food and wine forum.  In a way I’ve found the same thing on a more global basis, but much more civilized and productive to my cause which is education either of myself or helping others with what I know.  There are some feeds lately which I’ve found disturbing especially in light or lack thereof with the shadow of the Slow Food debacle currently taking place.  I’d like to take a moment and parody not what is actually there, rather what I read to myself on the average Chowhound message board.



Topic:  I want to make an exceptional grilled cheese Sammy, any suggestions?

Re: I like ham and cheese

                Re: I suppose you don’t care about the bread

                Re: good jab dude!

                Re: I like white bread

                                Re: do you like to eat chemicals and die?

                Re: good jab dude!

                Re: I like organic, sustainable, locally produced bread from a friend of mine in Jackson Hole and that is the only bread I have ever used in my whole life!  Do not ever make any sandwich without it.

                Re: Wow that bread sounds great, but I’m not in JH

                Re: well here is the website, have it delivered….   www.expensiceassbreadfromthemiddleofnowehere.com

                Re: That bread is incredible, but would cost me $2 a slice to get delivered!

                Re: well I guess you hate the USA, the environment, the farmers in Wyoming, puppies and most likely are hired my Monsanto to promote basic white bread that everyone can afford and furthermore are in all chances a terrorist associated with al Qaeda and will eat a white bread sandwich as your last meal before becoming a suicide bomber.  I hate you and you suck.  Go to McDonalds jerk.

Re:  This is how I like to make a grilled cheese Sammy:

                First I buy a whole hog from an organic, sustainable locally produced farmer of which I drove my gas guzzling SUV 45 miles each way and had to fill up twice (fucking gas prices) and broke down myself in my totally unclean garage (ha ha ha) cause I like to restore Corvettes, I have like 20 or something..too many to count. Ha ha ha.  So I break down the hog myself with my super cool Asian knives from Itokumony, Japan which are totally awesome! And cut out the back quarter to make a ham.  I sold the rest of the pig to my friends at a super inflated price to cover the cost of my grilled cheese.  Next I take the ham section and brine it as described in Michal Rhulman’s book.  This takes only a few weeks, but I enjoy sitting and watching it while it happens since the pig died just for my sandwich.  Ha ha ha and I read more books like the Modernist Cuisine and all the El Bulli books.  If you don’t have them your just a hack of a home cook.  Ha ha ha. 

I don’t just watch the ham brine I also make the cheese.  I get totally organic sustainable, local goat milk from my neighbor….in California and have it shipped here, for super cheap cause they are dumb hippies and I sold them a pig ear for $20 a pound.  Ha ha ha.  So I make goat cheese and press it into squares and color it with organic, sustainable local annatto seeds that I bought in Mexico and mulled back to the USA in my colon, stupid terrorists.  Now if you can’t make your own cheese just don’t make a sandwich.

Now the bread has to be perfect…not from Jackson Hole, ha ha ha.  You could use the Bitterman no-kneed method if you’re a lazy terrorist Monsanto senator hippie jerk, but I’m not! So I get some wheat from my other neighbor, next to my vacation home in Prague,  whom I sold a hog ass hole for $30 a pound... I mean the pig only had one right…ha ha ha.  And some eggs from the guy across the street… from the dock where I keep my yacht in Miami, that I sold the pig’s colon for $40 a pound because he wanted to invite his rapper friends over for chitterlings. What are those anyhow? Ha ha ha.  After that I wanted something holy so I went to the great Amish country of Pennsylvania and procured a friend starter because I bought a new horse for a young man in a carriage.  I would have just given him a ride in my Buggati, but he was some kinda weirdo!  Yeast procured I went home to make my bread.  Honestly I stopped at a Chick-fil-a and it was awesome.  Just kidding, ha ha ha, not really ha ha ha.

So it’s been about 3 months since I wanted a grilled cheese but I’ve sustained on Greek yogurt and flax seeds in the time being.  I have cooked the hog leg, sliced the cheese, and baked the bread now let’s get to the nitty gritty.  Since I’m on a diet I’ll use margarine to lube my George Forman grille and delicately place my homemade self procured ancient age bread onto the grill topped with my organic, sustainable, local cheese and place myself made ham slices (who knows what to do with the other 5 pounds of ham).  Perfect grilled cheese.  Doing it any other way would be un-patriotic and if you do you’re a jerk who should be detained under the patriotic act and sent to Guantano Bay and waterboarded till near death while your fingernails are pulled out in an attempt to obtain why those fingernails have Mexican heroin and some weird red substance under them. Ha ha ha.

Re: wow that is a lot of work for a grilled cheese!

                Re:  your an ass, this is exactly how I make my grilled cheese

                Re:  me too (about 20 times repeated)

Re: thanks for all your suggestions.  I used some bread my girl picked up last week, but scraped off the green spots, and some Kraft American cheese that expired last year paired with Ham I got on sale at Wal-Mart.  Man it was awesome.  Thanks again!