It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection andcomplications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebritiesturned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, HungryJack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, andCap'n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- timefriend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a manwho never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in showbusiness, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he -- evenstill, as a crusty old man -- was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was notart.Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Doughand Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived byhis elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.