Friday, April 01, 2011

Fathead will prevail

I have talked about Fatheads Brew Pub before. We recently went back, and it was still great. The place is so clean and fresh I can’t stand it. I don’t work there. I don’t know anyone who does. I don’t know the chef. All I know is the Smoked Wings are fucking amazing. The menu is an absolute encyclopedia of every cliché’s ‘local’ take on popular sandwich combinations so just forget about all that unless the only way you can go out is if your girl can get something ‘healthy’ in this situation just point out all the salads while you order some smokey wings, a tasty pint, and stare at the large-flat screen HD TV playing whatever sport it takes to numb her voice, all the time just nodding like you are listening….and don’t forget to make occasional eye contact. During commercials of course. It goes a long way! “That bitch!” works about 95% of the time in response to anything she is saying. The trick is to find that 5% of the time where she will trick you and know you aren’t listening then storm off to the bathroom crying. That will happen though, just like fries get soggy sometimes. Shit happens you know. Even if you have to listen to how her best friend said she might want to think about getting a size bigger pants five months ago when both were drunk and that is only part of the night she remembers beside the whisky, champagne and beers….I’ll tell you what; the smoked wings are worth it.

Just remember to make eye contact and smile.


Anonymous said...

You crazy bogger hipster? I tried "that bitch" and all I got was crying, and it wasn't on the way to the bathroom it was all over my cajun frenchy fries! it made them soggy and I couldn't even concentrate on my favorite sports game with the Red Wings because of her crying that sounded like a cat in heat with a donkey screwing it! But seriously I can't wait to try the wings.

Michael Walsh said...

You most likely just forgot about the eye contact part. Don't give up.