Thursday, November 17, 2011

Three weeks of Top Chef WTF moments.

Let me start by saying I don’t even bother absorbing any cheftestant’s names until there are less than 10, or I find them uncontrollably annoying so I apologize for not even taking the time to look up their names, but I’m guessing if you have read so far into this post you will know who I’m referring to.

WTF #1 I’m sure there are a lot of people who try out for Top Chef and I can only image the daunting task of wading through all the bull shit, but it seems reasonable to think there are most likely around 100 or so quality applicants. For this season they brought in 32 of them. They all took time off their job maybe even quit, said heartfelt good-byes to their family, and spent a fair amount of cash outfitting themselves, traveling, photo shoots, Bravo spent a decant amount of money on them as well I’m sure. The first guy sent off can’t find the tenderloin on a whole loin of pork?!?! WTF This was one of the top 32 applicants? For that chef somewhere out there who assumes he was #33, man he must be one pissed off motherfucker right now.

WTF #2 We only got three episodes in to find out that even the top 16 have neglected to prepare themselves to bake a god damned cake. WTF Did these wonder chefs not watch any of the past 8 seasons

WFT #3 James Beard Foundation WTF. It seems like every one of these goofballs is blurting out, “I’m a James Beard blah blah blah.” Dear James Beard Foundation, start being a little more selective before the mention of you becomes as meaningless as the words, “organic” “local” or “artisanal”. Please, we have trusted you so far.

WTF #4 Did any of the 18 cheftestants sent away do any kind of prep to be on the show? WTF Guy who ran out of time obviously should have went in his kitchen, set a timer for 20 minutes and figured out how much he could get done in that time. Seafood restaurant guy that bought pre-cooked shrimp WTF I hope no one ever comes to your restaurant again, ever! Unless they want a refund on their gift certificate. Lastly, everyone except the Mexican chef, did you know where season 9 was set? WTF Open a book for fucks sake. Did the idea of authentic Mexican, tex-mex, cowboy, snake or other regional ingredients elude you? Did you pack your winter boots for this trip as well? Click your clogs three times and maybe you will be transported back to Chicago three months ago where you can turn around, walk out of the tattoo parlor, get back in the car and find the big building filled with books called a Library. Someone there will show you where to find a book about Texas and more than a few shelves of cookbooks. Try one with the name Rick Bayless on it for starters.

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